A Birthday-Kyrgyz Style

So Sunday was a holiday- Easter, and our Sunday group had a picnic after the service- very many delicious foods- plav, laporshka, salads, cakes, etc. But it was not only a holiday, but also Janna’s birthday! After I returned home from our group’s picnic, I waited to meet the others and head out to Janna’s house for her birthday party. On our way, Aisuluu, Dastan and I stopped by the bizarre to pick up a gift, some flowers and a cake. Flowers are an important thing- they are often given for holidays and especially for birthdays. When we arrived we went into the home and there was many people (her family) there sitting and eating. We readily took our places among them; I sat next to Dastan because he knows English good and helped as my translator. Let me layout the scene- you are in a room with a table cloth spread out in the middle of the floor covered with all kinds of food- salads, borsok, laporshka, cookies, candies, jam, meat, drinks, and tea. Around the table setting are laid long mats which everyone sits on around the table area. Toasts are also a very big cultural thing- and maybe because I was the most obvious foreigner I was asked to give a toast for Janna. What is also cultural (Russian culture) is after you give a toast- you down a shot of vodka, which I politely declined and was given a glass of juice instead. Now, in America, we are not big toast givers- usually only at weddings and then just a few people. But people here have it down to an art! I on the otherhand- need much more practice! So then plates were passed to us and mine was promptly filled with almost everything. Another cultural note- the sheep- for many, or maybe any celebration it is typical to have one sheep- kill it and cook it all. I saw it being cooked and skillfully carved, only after I had eaten parts of it that probably I normally would not have. The good thing is I have yet to have the brains- I stress yet. But it was delicious for the most part. But that was not the end- after eating inside, we all went outside to wait for the main course- Bishbarmark, which translates as ‘five fingers’ because that is traditionally how you eat it. It is made up of home-made noodles and sheep meat. We had sheep ribs with ours. Though again I was told to make another toast! As was placed in front of me a shot of vodka. Trying to get out of it I said I had already made a toast and offered that someone else be given a chance- but there was no way out of it. So once again I said that I did not drink vodka, but this time the crowd was more insistant-“it’s our culture”- and having no back up from my friends of this culture I found myself in a very awkward position. Then a break- I was told I could drink however much I wanted- not the whole shot. Perfect. So I fumbled through another toast, picked up my shot of vodka and tipped the glass so it looked like I drank some, all the while keeping my mouth closed. It seemed to work- with exception of one guy who insisted I drink more, but the others said it was ok. Only to have another person give a toast a little while later and instead of drinking my tea, it was again insisted that I drink the vodka again. So again I tilted the glass- I am glad that vodka is clear and it really isn’t noticeable that there was pretty much the same amount in the small glass as when it was given to me. Soon after, we had cake and we headed back home; though the celebration there continued for the rest of the day. Another cultural note- the person of whose birthday it is does all the work- so being there for Janna, we rarely saw her as she was often cleaning up dishes, getting tea and what not. It was an experience for me and brought up some questions to my local Kyrgyz friends about maybe the right way to go about that situation, I guess I did ok. Culture or compromise….sometimes not a very clear line.